It actually happened.
On March 7, 2011, filling my Toyota Camry with gas at Costco cost $50.00 And that's without a service charge!
What is next for us poor suckers?
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Dear Members of the Academy:
Watching the Academy Awards telecast last month, I was reminded, repeatedly, of the wise old saying that it is better to stay silent and be thought an idiot than to speak and remove all doubt.
In the case of the Oscars, not only were my fears confirmed—these actors are idiots—they washed away my appreciation of these award winners’ fine work. Why do the powers that be even allow these people to speak unscripted? After all, we know only that the nominees excel at delivering words written by others. At what point in time did the producers of the biggest praise-fest in the world start assuming that an Oscar-caliber actor could put together a cogent sentence on his or her own?
Industry types say, “C’mon, it’s their big moment.” Bullsh**. Their big moment was in the film, when they defied the odds and lived their dream of acting in a great role and getting paid for it. And then again when millions of people saw their performances. All the nominees have been receiving attention and accolades for six months to a year before the coveted gold statues are handed out. Isn’t that enough?
After being subjected to approximately 2 hours of intermittent rambling drivel, I’ve come to the conclusion that only NON actors should be permitted to give speeches. It’s hard to say which was the last straw: Melissa Leo’s classless cursing, Natalie Portman’s mindless chatter, Julian Bale, dropping names of everyone he could bore us with except that of his forgotten wife, and virtually every other winner’s indulgent, pointless and decidedly non-entertaining speeches.
You tremendous performers made us love you and innocently overestimate your charm and intelligence. Next year, please, for all our sakes, leave us our illusions and keep your mouths shut.
In the case of the Oscars, not only were my fears confirmed—these actors are idiots—they washed away my appreciation of these award winners’ fine work. Why do the powers that be even allow these people to speak unscripted? After all, we know only that the nominees excel at delivering words written by others. At what point in time did the producers of the biggest praise-fest in the world start assuming that an Oscar-caliber actor could put together a cogent sentence on his or her own?
Industry types say, “C’mon, it’s their big moment.” Bullsh**. Their big moment was in the film, when they defied the odds and lived their dream of acting in a great role and getting paid for it. And then again when millions of people saw their performances. All the nominees have been receiving attention and accolades for six months to a year before the coveted gold statues are handed out. Isn’t that enough?
After being subjected to approximately 2 hours of intermittent rambling drivel, I’ve come to the conclusion that only NON actors should be permitted to give speeches. It’s hard to say which was the last straw: Melissa Leo’s classless cursing, Natalie Portman’s mindless chatter, Julian Bale, dropping names of everyone he could bore us with except that of his forgotten wife, and virtually every other winner’s indulgent, pointless and decidedly non-entertaining speeches.
You tremendous performers made us love you and innocently overestimate your charm and intelligence. Next year, please, for all our sakes, leave us our illusions and keep your mouths shut.
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