With apologies to Gilda Radner...

Why didn't I hear this before?

Given the esteemed journalist's much joked-about speech impediment, maybe her real name is "Barbara Ralters." That would make so much more sense!

Is it unanimous?

One thing nobody ever seems to want to be, or be perceived as, is ungrateful. As in, "I don't want to sound ungrateful, but..." There's always an explanation that's supposed to cancel out the possibility of this behavior.

Just once I'd like someone to admit, "Yes, I'm ungrateful. I sound ungrateful because I am ungrateful, and I don't care." Wouldn't that be refreshing?

Happy Halloween, everyone. Go eat too much candy!

The Cure for Identity Theft

I don't know why I didn't think of this before. You know how to ensure no one steals your personal information from the inter-webs? Confine all your confidential stuff to one of those job applications you fill out online. No one will ever see it there!

Vocabulary Words for August

These are just to sound smart and add some new words to the conversation:

perfidious - deceitful and untrustworthy
redolent - strongly reminiscent or suggestive of (something) or emitting a fragrance

They shouldn't be too difficult to work into conversation. Enjoy!

Old Saw/New Reality

Age is just a number...until it's a high number.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of crap. And young.

Dear news readers and writers:

When someone is killed in a car crash, don't say that person "passed away." It's super not appropriate. Can you picture that happening? No. So I really shouldn't have to tell you that.

Free-Range Irony

How could raising your children today the way children were raised 20 years ago now be considered abusive and neglectful?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3036412/Free-range-children-SEIZED-CPS-wandering-park-month-parents-guilty-neglect-refused-change-ways.html

These children wound up being abducted and traumatized by the authorities purporting to protect them.

We should compare the results of raising children to be independent to raising them to be best buds with their helicopter parents. Then we'll see who's growing up to be more secure, self-sufficient and well-adjusted!

Very old revelation

Hey, kids, you know the idea of tying a yellow ribbon around something...do you realize all our yellow, pink and black ribbon gestures actually emanated from a song? I used to think it was about a guy returning from war. It's not. It's about a guy returning from serving time in prison. 

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tony_orlando/tie_a_yellow_ribbon.html

Makes you wonder what he was serving time for.

First Profundity of 2015

They say you shouldn't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. But after that...who are you to judge? I mean, that's a lot of trouble to go to just to pass judgement on a guy. And very unhygienic. Don't you have your own shoes?