Pope Talk

I mean no disrespect to the outgoing Pope, but what's with all the talk about what he'll do in his "retirement" when, really, does anyone think it'll be a long, productive one?

If you ask me, all the money and effort being spent on remodeling his next forever home seem like a big waste and short-sighted.

After all, if the guy thought he had a fruitful future ahead, he would have kept the job till death parted him from it, as I understand is the custom.

So Catholics, pay your respects, and Mainstream Media, marvel at and over-report this once in a lifetime royal resignation, but please stop speculating about what's ahead for the first Pope Emeritus. It's the same future that awaits us all.

First Curmudgeon Consumer of the New Year

Dear Trader Joe's,

I can't believe you are out of all your holiday foods the day after Christmas. Yeah, they're popular. I get it. But I couldn't afford to buy myself anything until after the holidays. Has it ever occurred to you, Joe's, that some of your customers might receive gift cards that we can now spend at your store? Except all of your dark chocolate peppermints and chocolate-dipped ginger cookies and passport collection chocolate bars (I think you get the idea here) are gone for the season!

Please, Joe's, stop discriminating against non-gentiles and people who rely on gifts to splurge on ourselves. Save some of the holiday merchandise for after the holidays!

Yours,
The Female Curmudgeon

p.s. And it wouldn't kill you to pick my ticket stub once in 10 years or so to win a gift card for bringing my own damn bags.

1st Great Idea of 2013

You know how they have "undocumented" workers hanging outside of Home Depot and Lowe's? They are there to help you with what you just purchased inside the store.

We could really use this for places that sell computers, printers, and anything technical.

Outside of Best Buy, Fry's, or even Target, instead of guys in jeans and T-shirts, there could be freelance geeks, dressed in rogue Geek Squad white button-down shirt and black tie, ready for hiring on the spot. You negotiate a price, drive them to your home and let them put everything together for you.

Then later, when your 2-year-old computer gets a particularly tricky virus, you can return to the store's parking lot and bring home a geek to fix your latest problems.

How great would that be?

Last Minute Random Thoughts

I was wondering, "Where is Waldo?" It occurs to me I have never met or heard of anyone actually named Waldo. Did that name fall out of favor, or was it always rare?

Great vocabulary words for today: deft, flourish. Both are also fun to say!

See you in 2013!

Brilliant Post-Thanksgiving Idea

For the day after Thanksgiving, someone should sell leftovers!

If you are someone's guest at Thanksgiving dinner, and your hosts are not relatives, you are very likely to leave sans leftovers. This has happened to me on more than one bittersweet occasion. The solution, I realize now, is for someone to offer a meal for the day after, complete with turkey, gravy, potatoes and/or stuffing,and maybe some green bean casserole. Not the family-feeding production the supermarkets sell; you rarely eat as big a meal the day after a feast. Maybe a lunch size. But a little post-Thanksgiving turkey would really do the trick.

Random but interesting

-I wish I knew whether I should start speaking to my cat like an adult. She is 14 now; maybe she no longer appreciates the high excited voice I use to make conversation.

-Not flattering: Recently I had a revelation about myself. It's not reading books I am hooked on - it's reading book titles. I can rummage through hundreds of them at book sales, but when I get them home, I don't care whether or not I read them.

-Tattoos used to brand you as unusual and interesting. Now they just make you one of the pack. I guess if you want to identify as a chef or musician, they're required.

What's the opposite of infamy?

Today was somewhat monumental. I filled my tank, and for the first time in a year, my car didn't need more gas than I had cash. It's a good day!