Never trust a water aerobics instructor who has fake boobs

I've learned this the hard way. Women whose breasts do not move with the rest of their body, don't seem to realize the implications for the rest of us.

Twice now I have had instructors who think, because students are in the water and therefore buoyant, that jumping up and down as hard and high as they can is a good thing to do.

It's not. It's uncomfortable, and sometimes it hurts.

Please, if you have or intend to get a boob job, do not consider teaching water aerobics.

Tips for the tardy to aerobics class

When the class is already full, DO NOT insist on making a place for yourself at the very back of the room, blocking everyone from the exit, the mats and the weights. DO go to the front of the room where there is almost always space for one more. If you don't like to see your awkward close-up reflection in the mirror, come earlier next time.

You're already late; don't be thoughtless, too.