Waiting for the jobs...or Godot?

I hate to get political on the WWW but, C'mon, politicians! The jobs are waiting to be created, and Americans are waiting for you to get off your butts and create them.

Businesses aren't going to hire until they feel confident about the U.S. economy, which nobody does. And tax breaks won't change that. Have the tax breaks of the last several years made anyone feel more secure? Of course not.

That's why it's now up to the government; the infernal institution that got its citizens into this mess is now the only one that can get us out. By creating some frickin' jobs! Lots of them.

It's simple really. The market requires consumers to spend money. Consumers require jobs to have the money to spend. Without employment, there are no consumers. There is no way around that.

So what is everyone waiting for?

Being unemployed is like...

Being forced to play a perpetual game of tag where you are always "it." Not quite as humiliating as your first time at summer camp but also less fun.

Women vs. Men

This is the 21st century, is it not? So, how is it that 95 percent of ladies rooms still do not have a hook for a purse? Handbags have not gone out of style in any place I have been in the last 10 years. C'mon, restroom designers. Get with the program!

The other night I tried "Just for Men" (for blacking out gray hair) just around the crown of my female head. It looked like it really worked before I went to bed. The next morning, the dye job seemed to have evaporated! Could it have figured out overnight that it was on the wrong gender? I guess I'll never know.

Et Tu, CBS?

Fake fireworks? Are you kidding me? According to the story below, CBS, once known as the "Tiffany Network," broadcast some embellished fireworks displays from Boston...

http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/articles/2011/07/08/cbs_broadcasts_altered_views_of_bostons_fourth_of_july_fireworks/

Is this really what we've come to now? Real fireworks are deemed not exciting enough by the powers that be so they just fake 'em! The obvious question is, what else that's being broadcast isn't real (that we don't know about)?

At this rate, I'm going to run out of outrage before the new year!

Casey Anthony Overkill

Now that the accused daughter-murderer has been found "not guilty," is our (two-week) long nightmare news outage over?

I wonder what else has been happening in the world that the media has refused to cover for the last fortnight to ensure us uninterrupted coverage of the trial.

Uch.

Latest Theory

Suspected multi-murderer and America's most wanted listee Whitey Bulger was finally caught this week after 16 years on the run. The FBI received a "tip" that led to his almost immediate arrest.

Hmm. Who would have had a motive to see something else splashed across all the papers and the internet?

I think it's obvious. Anthony Weiner. I don't know how he did it. Maybe he tipped off authorities via text message. However he managed it, Congratulations, disgraced former U.S. Representative Weiner! I hope he qualifies for the reward.

Now, how do we get Bulger off the front page and get some new news?

Please don't be (perfectly) frank or honest

I have a lot of language pet peeves. Heck, that's why I have a blog. From time to time I will share a word or phrase whose usage has gotten out of hand. The following is a peeve for June.

The teaser "To be perfectly frank," (or "honest") used to signal that a deeper level of candor was about to be shared. Usually, this translated into juicy gossip. Who doesn't want that? And who doesn't feel special when someone decides to be "perfectly frank" with us?

Until you consider the alternative: Speak with no conviction? Converse with you in only the most superficial way? Make sh*t up? Who wants that?

The point is, now the phrase gets thrown in to a sentence with no forethought, when in fact nothing salacious is ahead. That's always a disappointment.

Please, readers, do your part to put an end to this conversation flaccidifier (which should be a word). Do not use the phrase except in situations of extreme and genuine honesty!

Thanks a bunch.